Reflecting On and Closing Out 2021
Better than 2020 but somehow still kind of terrible.
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My dear friends – what a year it’s been, right? I started this newsletter to create a space to let loose with my thoughts and hopefully get more creative. As inconsistent as I was, I can assure you that my life this year as been just as much.
With pandemic year 2, I actually found this year to be more exhausting than I anticipated. I don’t know why I thought only 2020 would be disastrous! Need I remind you of all of the current events, besides pandemic news, that caused us utter distress? The January 6th insurrection, which I didn’t bother to discuss, the devastating deaths of Virgil Abloh, bell hooks, Joan Didion, and more – plus a Delta and Omicron surge, reminding us that COVID-19 is here to stay, and Americans are embarrassing.
However, there was still a lot of good things this year! I let go of jobs that didn’t serve me anymore but got me to where I am currently – working in a new full-time position at Wirecutter, The New York Times. My first byline is now on Wirecutter, and I talk about my love for the Nike Blazers.
I’ve written some other pieces that were such a joy to write about. My passions and interests collided for two of my favorite articles I wrote this year: Music Makes All the Difference: How Music Supervision and Editing Stimulate Our TV Viewing Experience for Okayplayer and Doja Cat Is a Futuristic Fashion Alien — and That's What Sets Her Apart for InStyle. I also wrote a personal essay talking about my cultural upbringing, so in case you were confused about my race or ethnicity, here’s your answer. A little side note: I know many people have opinions on using “BIPOC”, but for people like me, this can also help identify those of us with multi-racial backgrounds who never truly fit in anywhere.
My brother and I took a trip to Istanbul, Turkey, where I ate some of the best food ever. I don’t say that lightly. I mean, seriously, everyday was another favorite meal. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and Turkish tea convinced me that I must return to Turkey. This time, I want to explore Anatolia. The historical/cultural sites were also mesmerizing, so it’s perfect for history buffs. I’m the type of traveler who tries to see as much as I can. This trip was my reminder, however, that I need a vacation on a beach doing absolutely nothing. I needed a vacation from my vacation because I was walking like 5 miles a day.
I live on my own!(!!), and I’m loving it. I currently write from my new desk and office chair –in my studio – and this is what a little bliss feels like.
Finally, I’m going to share something I’ve never done before. In my self reflection for the upcoming new year, I was journaling about my desire for true love, career longevity, accolades, and overall happiness. Well, that last part is not dependent on any of that. But, they do help. I wrote this today in my journal, and I’m going to share it with you all. Communicate honestly with yourself, and you might find something really beautiful:
I’ve been reflecting a lot. I haven’t kept promises to myself. I’m hard on myself. It’s ok that I wrote less, or not at all, creatively this week. At least I’m doing it here. My screenplay progress – not great, but it’s getting somewhere. At least my synopsis is done. My goal can be achieved: finish it by May 2022. What stopped me or slowed me down? Well, doubt. Lots of it. Constantly wondering if I’m really good enough to pull such a project, but I am! Let it go! Then, there’s mental exhaustion. Stress from [redacted] job hunting, freelancing, and the doubt combined gave me anxiety that was debilitating at times. I try to distract myself with love and entertainment. Not always healthy, but it is at least safer than drugs. Marijuana not included. I’m doing my best, but at this point, this very moment, I can do better now. Rather than stressing about how much I didn’t do and then freezing up, today I can just get moving. One page at least! I believe in me, and I’m sorry I doubted. I can do anything when I let my insecurities down and power through them.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that the finale of Insecure spoke to me in more ways I’d like to admit. Thank you, Issa Rae, for reminding us that success isn’t linear, and we can all get that happy “ending” – which is really only the beginning of another journey.
Happy New Year, and may 2022 make you laugh and smile more than ever.
Very well written and yes I agree with your thoughts and reflections. I sure hope 2022 starts a turnaround from this crazy covid 19.